i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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