Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
