could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He? As in you personified your dick?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
