im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
