so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
