Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
