Need sex. Gaining weight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
