He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
