we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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