Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we're so committed to being not committed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
