I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
