I look better un-naked...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
