He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dignity is for republicans.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
