their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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