Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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