Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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