I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
