I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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