you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
