OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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