I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
