I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
