I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
