The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
