sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
