if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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