just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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