I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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