I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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