suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
