She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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