I wannas sexs uuuuu
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like a drive thru vagina
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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