Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
