Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
