I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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