It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
