Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
