if you like me you must not know who I am
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
