I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I didn't notice because vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
