he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
