I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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