I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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