Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
