i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It was confusing and full of hummus
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
