just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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