Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
