there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Please don't give away my fajitas
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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