so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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