If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
