On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
