Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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